Whether in a position of authority through rank or just one of the rank and file, the team you’re on can be your first line of support or it can be a negative influence. It’s very easy to fall victim to the gossip and complaints, I’ve been there myself. So I speak from knowledge of how damaging it can be. However, there is strength in numbers and heading folks down a positive path is far more rewarding than following people down into a deep, dark rabbit hole. In fact, I have a sign on my wall above my computer, it says three things:
- Don’t believe everything you think
- Do no harm
- You are the kind of person who creates and builds things
These words serve to remind me of who I have decided to be in all situations. It is so tempting to think of every change announcement as a threat or pending disaster; hence, the phrase don’t believe everything you think. Spreading negative rumors does harm and a builder and creator cannot achieve their goals filling their head with doom and gloom. So I find those statements empowering. Why do I need those statements in front of me? Because I’m about as human as they come. I’m not totally sure why it seems so natural to go down a rabbit hole of negativity, but reading these statements can keep me from it.
For example, I am a sole contract technical communicator on a team of professionals who do very different work than I do. As a contractor, I have no rank and am always on the potential list of cuts during budget season. This occurred year after year for many years. This alone can be fodder for negativity right around mid year when I’m trying to decide, should I go or should I stay. Should I be looking for another job or wait it out and see if they are going to renew me.
I also happen to love where I work and the people I work with. So I have taken the position if I want a workplace free of complaints then I must not be a complainer about what I have chosen for myself – to be a contractor that confronts budget season every year. In order to not be a complainer, I need to adjust my thoughts on a regular basis. The temptation to complain is always there and sometimes slips out at inopportune moments.
What I have noticed, is that when I quiet my complaints or turn those complaints into ideas and suggestions for improvement, people around me start doing it too. This philosophy saved me during the height of our migrating from one computer system to another. I was able to shift the attitudes of some of the most ardent complainers by simply staying focused on what was possible and helping them to see it.
Whenever, someone stepped into my cube, they always left with the notion that all this current pain was going to work out for the best for all of us. I stand firmly by that notion. It’s a subtle shift. Now, when people feel the need to complain, they don’t come into my cube unless they want a shot of that. My habitual answer to any complaint is to convey, “If things aren’t working, take it to someone who can do something about it.” That’s all there is to say to have people stop coming to your door with complaints. Sometimes it even causes them to start thinking of who could do something about it. Sometimes they just go vent somewhere else.
Now, if the complaint is about something I’m doing that doesn’t work and I can do something about it, then I address it in the best way I can without getting defensive. Again, I look to my wall, to keep my mind focused on positive thoughts when someone has constructive criticism about my work. My little reptilian brain likes to see the conversation as a threat and offer me all kinds of defensive reactions and then starts beating me about the neck and shoulders for making such a foolish mistake or not seeing a better solution myself. It isn’t helpful.
When I redirect my thoughts away from how useless and worthless I am as human being to ok, how can we best come to an agreement on how this situation can be resolved to benefit of everyone, I can feel my guard go down. When I can do that, it helps others do that too. Empower your team to positively accept the changes at hand. It works with a shift in your attitude first. Then creating a structure for yourself to continue to accept things the way they are without getting all negative and defensive about it. And always stand for what’s possible. It will rub off, I have seen it happen with the people around me. It’s like that single drop of water creating ripples in a lake that keep going on and on until they hit the shore. Your positive influence can spread farther than you can even imagine.